Maybe I just wasn't doing it right. I tried to remember and recapture the way I had felt last night. Anxiety at being caught spying by Laura; exhilaration; a strange feeling of strength. I tried to invoke those emotions again. I tried to remember exactly what I had thought as I pushed my will onto Laura. Drop your pencil, I thought again.I felt it again -- a strange sort of resistance, much weaker this time, almost immediately giving way. Melissa's hand twitched and the pencil clattered to the. You are a better person than I.I have you physically, but I have lost your heart. I have hurt you toodeeply. I do not deserve your trust and I will not insult yourintelligence by asking you for it. Since the hotel, I have had you on my mind constantly. I have spent allmy time thinking about us, why I did what I did, how I can earn yourlove and trust again. I talked with Sue and told her what I did. Shesaid marriage only works when you are partners in life, not master andservant; when you are. I had never thought of him as a dog. There was enough of that at the office, harmless though Tim and George Jr. were. Did Lewis just have to hide it better? He was neither Dalton nor West. He seemed to work harder and smarter for it.“It’s pretty,” Lewis announced, “It’s just a chore when it’s long.”I laughed at what didn’t sound like sarcasm. Maybe I wasn’t used to Lewis joking? Was anyone? I started rolling over old conversations in my head. It could have been that we’d been swimming in jokes. I showed it to his friends. Their jaws dropped. I then sent him one back asking is his roommates would be better since there were 4 at the house. I showed them his reply when he said yes. I took a pic of them standing in front of me and sent it to him. He replied requesting that no one pull out. I showed it to then and asked if they could share. One picked me up and put me over his shoulder and took me to my boyfriends room. I had them tie me up with the restraints that my boyfriend used on me..
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